This is a tricky one to write about. But somebody has to call attention to it. Over on MetaFilter one of my favourite group blogs, a news item has generated nearly 200 comments. (The usual number is 10-30.) It's not a subject that's dear to my heart, though it is a warning from the US. What happens there, usually comes here within two years.

"Avoiding Kids: How Men Cope With Being Cast as Predators These days, if Rian Romoli accidentally bumps into a child, he quickly raises his hands above his shoulders. "I don't want to give even the slightest indication that any inadvertent touching occurred," says Mr. Romoli, an economist in La Cañada Flintridge, Calif."

I've a few single male friends, who live in big cities,  for whom this will resonate. One will not go to the local park, another won't speak to children, at all.

For me, a small town person, in a small town, I'd never think of all this. But usually, I'm with my own children, this gives me 'cover.' I guess. But even within this cover, with other parents I've known a while—all female, when I've needed to comfort another child, they've fallen over, or been left out of a game, I've felt conscious that as a man, every eye is on me. I've wondered if it was because I'm unusual—not many dads have such an active roll, in birthday parties, picking children up from school, etc. Or, is it more sinister suspicions?

Needed? Needed to cuddle a child because it's crying? Surely, I could leave it to another mother? I guess. But, I only do it when it's next to me, when I'm the obvious person to do this. Otherwise, it would seem, IMHO, to be un-gentlemany. That somehow my emotions or nurturing skills were repressed.

Oh man. I hadn't thought too much about this before. Curse you Internet. Curse you.
# Posted by Steve Hooker at 14/9/07; 9:44:28 AM to the Psychology dept.
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Men avoid kids